if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
