I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
