piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
