he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
