i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
