the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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