Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
