I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
