do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
