i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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