apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
