I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I have already put on my inside pants.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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