i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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