It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
