party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
