In the future we'll all be gay
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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