why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I want to be your penis for a week.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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