wake up i wanna do it froggy style
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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