we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
