so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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