You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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