are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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