So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She's the barista slut.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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