Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
