My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
