The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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