Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
