I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He did a backflip because drugs
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