Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
