I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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