My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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