I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
