i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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