sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
