Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
