i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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