better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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