you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
