I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
