Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
