I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
