My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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