i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
