No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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