when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
