Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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