Dual....:-)
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
