my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize