I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
