i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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